Rohan's blog

Life would be amazing if you and I would be living in an ideal world. But the reality is completely opposite.

Yes, you can hope and pray for the better days to come. And it might come. But until then, it is better to live with a prepared mind. Or else, it is going to be tough for you.

So let’s dive in – how there are certain things you can’t control and still you will be judged for it. Being strong is the only choice or else, life will be hard.

College Romance

Colleges are the best time to fall in love. You are young, passionate and that’s the right time to learn about love, breakup, and commitments.

As you walk through the corridor, you see her. She smiles as she passes by you and you do the same. None of you have talked but it seems that the connection has already happened.

Each day the urge to talk intensifies. Your friends are pushing you to make the move because you are the guy and it is a custom to make the first move. But the fear of rejection is real. You can’t imagine the scenario when she would reject your friendship.

It would be devastating. But the alternative is to live in hope forever. Although it sounds sweet, there is no real progress which will happen.

So you take a deep breath, put all your energy and interrupt her. She is visibly nervous too. But you ask her number so that you can chat and possibly meet outside the college. And she obliges.

It all seems like a fairy tale. Because it is. This isn’t the reality for many people. It only helped because you were handsome and she being pretty. You both judged based on beauty and approved of each other. If the guy wasn’t that handsome and all the variables the same, the outcome could have been different.

Looks play an important role in the relationship. Not the only thing, but an important factor. For others, they can only show their core values and heart once the initial conversation somehow happens.

Book Covers

Never judge a book by its cover. The core meaning is that a book can be good despite being a bad cover or vice versa.

Like in human beings, looks can be deceiving. Because the true nature is only revealed much later in life. But you can’t sell a book without a cover. Because it is the cover which makes it a book. If you remove the cover then it would just be pages or pdf. Not a book which you can hold and have the feel.

The option is to have covered but a blank one. But that’s not the case. Because although you know a book can be judged only after reading it, you want an easy way out.

So you look for other things – reviews, foreword by some famous people, endorsement by Oprah. And if there is nothing, then you judge the book by it’s cover.

If you see 2 books by unknown authors, you will pick the one which has the enticing cover. That’s human nature and that’s the reality. So if you are an author, invest in a good book cover.

There Will Be Bias

In recruitment, the ad says they won’t judge you on basis of caste, gender, color or geographical location. But then they will do exactly the same under some disguise. On paper, it is easy to write what is correct. It is difficult to do it in reality because bad people will find their way.

But what about good people will good intentions? That all sounds good. But the bias kicks in.

You aren’t doing that deliberately but that’s going on. When a person of color comes in, when you are white – you start to feel uncomfortable. And every answer she gives, you come to the conclusion that she isn’t a fit.

On the contrary, when a white girl enters, you relax and thus you see her answers as a wholesome and hire her. Thinking you did a great job.

But subconsciously there came in bias. So the best thing is to give your best and not worry. Bias will come in but it’s okay.

Work On Other Qualities

You can’t change your geographical location, color or your name. Also, the culture you are born in is the most familiar one for you.

It is difficult to convince others to not treat you badly. What you can do – is make sure you excel and become the best possible version. So you are not just the same with your counterparts but better.

Because if you are the same or just slightly better than others, you will not be chosen if you aren’t in alignment with their bias.

For example, if you are not handsome, girls won’t choose you in first sight. You have to work on your conversations, maturity and giving respect. Because that’s your power – there is hardly any chance you will get. So you have to make the most of your chances.

A female writer was getting jobs at low prices. And she couldn’t figure out why. Then she changed her internet name to a white man. And boom she received many clients and better prices. So be prepared for the bias because this is a true incident.

Life Isn’t Fair

Yes, it isn’t fair. If you aren’t in the creamy layer, you are at a slight disadvantage. And that’s okay.

Ideally, people should treat you fairly and be open to new ideas and cultures. But that isn’t the reality. So instead of crying about it, you can prepare yourself for it. So when you see your wealthy friend partying, think twice. Do you have the cushion of money lying around.

If not, then education is your only chance of leveling up. So better focus and give 100 percent.