Rohan's blog

Before marriage, relationship & commitment. You want to know her and below are list of questions to guide you to find the answer for yourself. You will discover the layers of your relationships and know her better.

1. How did you break up? It’s not to judge her. However, the dynamics would help you see how she might react in the future. So, you can decide to go into the relationship or back out.
2. Would you go for coffee? This is a simple pick up line. But it works. The girl would know you are asking for a date. And she can decline because there is no pressure as such. The best way to either know a person more or see if they are interested in you.
3. How much do you earn? It will help you see whether she works. And how she thinks about money and its story. You want a girl who is confident, full of ideas and not shaky when it comes to money.
4. What do you do in your free time? This will reveal her hobbies and you can see how she structures her day. Maybe it’s something exciting or new or something too far away for you. Is it something which you can handle, keep exploring?
5. What do you think of God? Religion, beliefs and ideas are strong notions in humans. And you want a partner who is similarly aligned or open enough so there are no such problems. This question will help you see if you should proceed further.
6. What’s your view on feminism? For a long time, females have been not given their dues. As such, feminism is a good thing. But often people have wrong notions of it. Ask her view to see if she is carrying toxic feminism, so you can run out.
7. What type of fear do you have? It will reveal her personal side to you if she opens up – respect her. Regardless, you will see a vulnerable side of her. And you can share your fears to have that human connection.
8. Are you friends with your ex? Because it’s okay to be friends. But if she is too toxic and complains that her ex was the problem then chances are she is the problem. Run far from this relationship.
9. Do you want to live with your parents or the nuclear family? Both of you should want the same things else, there will be constant conflicts in the family. This is not be decided later, decide now and see if both of you are on the same page.
10. What are your dietary preferences? Eating should be a personal business but often it is not. Check to see if their preferences would hinder your eating habits and vice-versa. Because eating is a daily habit and often one of the best intimate moments.
11. What are your goals and aspirations? See if they are aligned with yours. Or you are willing to sacrifice for her goals. And ask her inputs about our aspirations too. You don’t want to love so much yet go on two separate ways after marriage. Decide now, how you will go about it.
12. What about children? Do you want to conceive yourself or adopt or not have kids? Decide on them, so there is no conflict. It becomes a big issue and you don’t want to fight with the love of your life.
13. What kind of relationship do you fancy? If not answered honestly, it often leads to affair or divorce. Ask first, see if you both are compatible and want similar things out of your desires.
14. What is an unpopular opinion you have? And ask this in a no-judgement zone where you share your one. This will allow you to see how drastic her perspectives are. Of course, don’t judge, but absorb her thinking to see if you are fit. You can deny someone respectfully.
15. What are you working on long-term? This is to gauge in what field or topic someone is passionate about. Because as a partner, you need to help her find success in that for the long-term.
16. After marriage, what about the finances? Money is a big talking thing and it can ruin a relationship. Whatever it is – talk it out and work out a plan so there is no hassle once you marry. And you don’t have to copy others, your workaround can be as unique as your relationship.
17. What’s your view on violence? Generally speaking, violence is bad in any relationship. And it only escalates – where there is love, there is no place for physical or mental harm. You can be sad, quiet but you should be willing to resolve things.
18. What’s the divorce arrangement? Often when you don’t sign on some divorce agreement, whatever the land you are living, those rules will apply automatically. So, if your land allows for custom agreement, go for it. It saves a lot of heartache and shock after divorce.
19. Do you need to know where I am 24*7? No matter how close you are – you want personal space to follow your passions, have sanity and come back stronger to love your close ones.
20. Do you want me to change? Because that’s not a healthy relationship to start with. You love the person for who they are. The occasional critic is fine but nagging isn’t. You shouldn’t set out to change the person, partner up only when you are in love with the current version of the person and not some imaginary future version.
21. What is your retirement goal? See if you match on this – if not agree on how to proceed. One might be ambitious while the other might be looking for a relaxed life. It can work but only when you agree, understand and make a place beforehand.

You can ask the above questions to a girl. Also, these questions can be asked to a guy. It works regardless of gender.