Eating food together is the most intimate thing you can dowith someone. The saying goes, ‘family, which eats together stays together’.
And so if you want to build a relationship with someone thenat some point you need to have the ritual of eating food together. It brings acertain kind of warmth, requires a certain kind of trust and allows you to openup.
You sit there, eat a few morsels and sip up a drink. Andthen you talk about your childhood days, your dreams and passion which keepsyou up at night.
The connection is felt, the spark is ignited, and the energyis multiplied. The best thing which can happen has happened. And you look forwardto the next dining experience. Maybe you would try something new, somethingvaried or try a different location. Going with the same option is the safestroute. But you have the faith to leap and try new foods – because you are withsomeone whom you can share the meal.
The good, bad and ugly has happened, and you are open aboutit. You want to have more conversations, get lost in the moment and cherish itmany times later.
Group Setting
The same experience of eating food is amplified, and spiceis added when you go out on a group eating experience. Which often involves atleast 3 friends. In your mind, there is one friend upon which you are going tomake the most jokes.
The goal has shifted in here. You can’t have the intimateexperience with everyone. So you try to become the most memorable one.
One joke after another and you try everything to take a jabat someone in the group. There is a back and forth, and it seems like acompetition.
When all the intellectual jokes are over, and you can’tthink of anything else, you stoop down and start making crude jokes. And atthis point, you need to know your friends and their limits. Or else you wouldbe offending someone for worse.
There is always something against which you can’t tolerate.The common joke which comes up is the veg vs non-veg clash. Often it is thepeople who eat both veg and non-veg dishes who take a jab at the people who eatveg.
The mockery starts, and they try to make them feel smallbecause of their eating habits. Again, if your friend is okay with such jokes,then it is fine. But most often they aren’t, and you keep on cracking theserepeated, expected and not-funny jokes.
Eating a certain kind of food isn’t out of the ordinary.Everyone has their preferences and as long as you aren’t forced to comply withthem, you shouldn’t have a problem.
But often, there will be someone in the group eating, whowill make jokes and target people for their eating habits. Make them feellittle and try to feel superior – making other people feel guilty isn’t a goodthing to do. Especially if it isn’t illegal, they are doing.
Strong Feelings
Sure, you might have strong feelings about many things. Butthat isn’t an authority to bash people who aren’t aligned according to yourviewpoint. For example, if you hate cigarette, you don’t have the right tobully people who smoke at legal places.
Or if you despise alcohol, you shouldn’t lecture anyone oreveryone on why their liver is going to become stale.
Life is harsh, and whatever you do – you will die. And howyou want to go out should be decided by you and no one else. There are manythings by which you can risk your life. For example, you can go parasailing andrisk yourself to immediate death, if any accident happens.
The point here is not to consider yourself as some highmoral human beings. You, me and everyone else is flawed. There are things whichyou do that makes no sense.
Sure you can have a discussion concerning something. Butthen the point should be to have a healthy debate – where you don’t becomeannoying, listen the other perspective and be open to new ideas.
Else, you would come as someone who just bashes people withdifference in ideas, And that’s not cool.
Next time when you feel the urge to bash someone merelybecause they are different, remember someone can feel the same way about you.It helps to keep yourself in vulnerable perspective. Don’t behave with othersas you wouldn’t with yourself.
Rohan's blog 